To introduce myself, I am Niksa (Name changed). I am narrating my 100% true story which I don’t know that whether I should call a love story at all. I am writing this story to seek your opinion and take the most important decision of my life. If you are interested in masala Only, its time you shift to another story because it’s not a masala story at all. This story has been narrated on 26th feb,2012. I shall narrate the story in three phases:
First Phase:
The
story starts five years back when I entered my engineering college. It
is one of the best IITs in India. I entered as a innocent child unaware
of the practical life outside Physics, chemistry and Maths books. Those
were good old Orkut days and I met one of my friend’s friend on orkut.
Lets call her Nisha. We had never met each other. Our friendship (rather
animosity) started because of brawls over profile visits. However, in
course of time, because of mediation by our common friend, our animosity
ended and by the end of my first semester, I and Nisha became good
friends and started having frequent chats on Gmail. We even had chats on
phone sometimes. Slowly but steadily, I started liking her. Though Not
in the way lovers love each other, because probably I was too innocent
to understand Love. May be I should call that it was more of an
infatuation. However, I didn’t realize this and misunderstood this as
Love.
As
a result, by the end of my first year in April 2008, I decided to
propose Nisha. Once I was having message talk with her and she sent
typical girly forwards asking how I found her. I replied but asked a
rhetorical question that how did she find me? (This wasn’t in shayarana
andaaz typical of forwarded messages.) She was taken aback. And then in
the mid of the night at my home, I proposed her. She accepted. (We
hadn’t met yet!!)
We
started having more and more of talks on phone. Mind you, I hadn’t met
her yet. Then, I entered my second year whence I joined the fest
organizing committee and got busy with the fest organization work of my
college. I started finding her talks boring and kind of didn’t quite
like talking to her. At the same time, back home, an incident occurred
which made me feel no scope for relationship.
One
of my distant but local cousins wanted to marry a boy from a different
caste. She was criticized vehemently among the family members and my
family members went to the extent of saying that she has disrepute the
entire family in the town.
Watching
all this, I decided to neglect Nisha and stopped talking with her.
Anyways, I was too busy with the fest work and hence, didn’t find it too
hard to forget her. She used to send some sentimental long messages but
I tried to ignore her for the better future of both of us. She used to
send messages and sometimes even call me during next 4 years to come.
This brings us to the end of first phase of my story.
Phase II
After
the fest work got over, during my summer vacations internship after
second year in 2009, I found another girl on yahoo chat. She was kinda
reserved, introvert but hugely innocent. Her introvertness meant, we
chatted rather rarely. once I asked her number when I was going away and
wouldn’t have had internet access. However, she refused. I still gave
her my number.
Probably
then she tried to call me once. To cut the story short, crux was that
we became good friends but then again this time, i started liking her.
Let’s call her Priya. By now, I was 20 and realized that I was in LOVE!!
Probably for the first time, true Love!! So, I decided to propose her
and proposed her on her b’day. This time even without seeing her
photo!!!.
I
proposed her. She didn’t agree. She didn’t agree for more than a year.
In the mean time, I went some 1500 KMs always to meet her twice!! I met
her sister-in-law, she rejected because I was not of same caste as
theirs. After this fiasco, at the end of my third year, I went for my
internship abroad in Canada. I missed Priya a lot and used to call her
sometimes from Canada as well!.. She missed me as well. After my return
from Canada, our phone talks resumed (which had almost stopped after the
rejection of her sister-in-law). Finally on the day of Diwali, 05th
November 2010, I proposed her again.She accepted!
We
became couples and I went to her town of residence nearly 1500 KMs away
3 times in 4 months. Mind you, our love was still pure that is I didn’t
even kiss her.
After
end of my engineering in April 2011, I left my job and went to Delhi
for civil services preparation. I could not give her sufficient time and
thus, misunderstandings started propping up. On her b’day in August
2011, I slept at night and when I woke up at 1am, I called her. She had
slept, her brother picked up. Usually because of her parents, she had
the habit of not saying anything at time whenever she used to be at
home. I felt this time to be a similar situation and wished her and kept
talking to her like sweetheart, dear etc… Next day, her brother made it
clear that she had to leave me. Still, since she had joined an MBA
college, we kept talking very less though. But some problems emerged
because of me not being able to give sufficient time and brawls over her
brother’s patronage. Finally we decided to break up in Sept, 2011. End
of Phase II
Phase III
I
became alone. Meanwhile since Nisha was also from Delhi, I met her. (We
had met her before twice when I was in fourth year. I had felt a pang
of affection for her but not that i wanted to dump Priya then.) Because
of break up with Priya, I was in emotional instability. I and Nisha went
for a movie where she got emotional and I touched her hand for the
first time. I felt electrified! While coming out, I hugged her. We went
for same movie after one week and hugged again, this time more tightly!
She provided me emotional support and that attracted me towards her. We
started spending some time together. I dont know if I loved her, but
liked her company. She STILL Loves me the way she did all these four
years!! I am too overwhelmed by her love and every time I meet her, I
feel weak. Things followed and I snagged with her in Feb 2012 in the mid
of a movie!! First kiss of my Life! I feel I love her as well (probably
because she loves me whole heartedly)..but am not sure if she would
ever be able to replace Priya in my thoughts.
Meanwhile,
I am also in chats with Priya sometimes on phone, BUT only as a good
friend. She loves me as well. Problem with both of them is that none of
them are from my caste and my parents would feel bad if I marry any of
them!
Current status:
Priya
: I am in chats with her as good friend, though sometimes I feel pangs
of love and thats precisely the moment when I stop talking saying good
night so that she shudn’t feel my love. Probably, I still love her
innocence a lot.
Nisha:
I meet her sometimes, though haven’t met her after the Kiss incident. I
feel bad about having taken a step without putting in sufficient amount
of thought into it. She feels that we crossed limit as well. Still, she
is madly in love with me.
MILLION DOLLAR QUESTIONS
1. Whom should I accept? Nisha, Priya or none?
2. Whether I would be able to forgive myself for the kiss if I marry someone else?
3. What about my Love for Priya?
4.
Most Important – What will Nisha do if she comes to know that I don’t
exactly love her, but like her a lot because of her love?
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